Unbranded Minute 4

Me and Mr Trivia have put out minute number 4. It's a dialogue between us and the culture. Well, more an SMS between us and YouTube....

EVD

Unbranded Minute 3

Hi Citizens,

My good friend Mr Trivia and myself have done three of these Unbranded Minutes, so far. And we're happy with the results. Considering our Key Performance Indicators on this project are a dream I had under the influence of Sudafed, I'm a happy camper.

See you down at the nets!
Esteban

p.s. Click on vid to enlarge.

Rising From The Ashes

Citizens,

Poker used to be the implement one used to stir the ashes. Now the words 'Poker' and 'Ashes' are reborn in glorious combination as a pseudo-sporting tournament used to flog an online casino!

Last night, I was going the nod, dreaming of Judy Garland's smash performance at Carnegie Hall in '61. (What a fine double album...) Bedtime, methought, when suddenly roaring up out of black midnight on Channel 9 came the 2009 Poker Ashes series; Aussies vee Mother England.

According to the publicity, "The tournament is heads up, no limit Texas Hold'em." How good does that sound? Old warriors who once wielded the willow were back - facing off over a card table. Brilliant. And check out this line up: Shane Warne, Damien Martyn, Dean Jones and Jeff Thompson for the baggy green and Darren Gough, Mathew Hoggard, Min Patel and Gladstone Small playing for the Poms.

It was riveting stuff, I can tell you. Dean Jones donned a pair of shades, no doubt to hide his 'tell' because otherwise he'd have looked an absolute idiot wearing sunglasses inside. There were plenty of jibes and sledging going on between the teams and only a churl would suggest that all of this was only slightly better than an hour of Guthy-Renker selling cleaning products and mineral makeup.

If this sounds like your cup of Lipton's then check out the Poker Ashes 2009 site. Or maybe not because it tells you what the outcome of the series was.

See You Down The Nets,
Esteban

Twitpic Suggested I Link To This...

...And because I think everything has to be interconnected, I did.

The Awesome ONJ

The incredibly naff cover for the single 'Magic'.



Okay, I used to find it a little bit embarrassing to see Molly Meldrum crushing on Olivia Newton-John during the Countdown days on ABC-TV. Not being a fan of Grease particularly (I enjoy it but not in anything like the same way as approximately 2 billion women on Planet Earth, LOVE IT) I had thought of Olivia as a little saccharine and somewhat safe. I had filed her under V for Vanilla with Australia's Julie Anthony and the Sound of Music's Julie Andrews. (Vanilla Ice is filed under F).

However. lately, in a completely arbitrary fashion that some might wish to term The Miracle of South Perth, I've decided that Olivia Newton-John has got the mojo, the kevorka and the solid gold showbiz 'stuff'. I'm only thirty years late for this train. At least I got on it eventually.

I leave you with Olivia's 1979 gold hit Magic. The song is one of hits from the successful soundtrack to the unsuccessful musical Xanadu.

I'll see you down at the 'nets.

Esteban

Jona Lewie Time: Louise (1981)

There's plenty to know about UK singer-songwriter Jona Lewie. And that's where our friend Señor Internet comes in. It is there we discover that Mr Lewie's heyday was the 1980s when he had hits like You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties and British Christmas fave Stop The Cavalry.

But like I said, check for further details with Señor Internet. Seek out Mr Lewie's Wikipedia entry and then travel to his own official site - it has an abundance of pictures and some interesting bonus features like scans of his letters.

Meanwhile enjoy this YouTube video of his 1981 song Louise (We Get It Right).

See You Down At The Nets

Esteban

Von Disco Interviews #1

The Monolith tells Dave Bowman he isn't getting his Rudd Dollars.

The 2001 Monolith


I meet the Monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey at the Boathouse Café on Mends Street, South Perth. The Monolith is in Perth briefly to speak at a rally promoting World Hunger at the Applecross MacDonald’s on the corner of Sleat Road and Canning Highway.

I arrive at the Boathouse 10 minutes early, yet the Monolith is already there. Awe-inspiring. Charismatic. Monolithic. It is dressed in a Tom Wolf-esque white linen suit that would seem dated and pretentious on anyone else. But the Monolith is making it work. As I sit down, a young fan leaves the table with an autographed napkin. The Monolith has no evidence of hands or even a Sharpie to write with. Just another example of the mystical power of this dark secret entity that we first came to know in Stanley Kubrick’s ground-breaking 1968 sci-fi film.

Von Disco: So Kubrick was known for liking multiple takes. There are reports of 80-90 takes on many scenes in his various movies. How was it for you guys on 2001?

Monolith: Of course, I was in Full Metal Jacket, too.

Von Disco: I didn’t see that on IMdB.

Monolith: Yeah, I gotta get onto that. I was in the scene where D’Onofrio cuts sick.

Von Disco: Do you play a wall?

Monolith: The ceiling. Good, production design. You really have to look.

Von Disco: How many takes for the famous bathroom scene?

Monolith: Interestingly everything on that day was done in two or three takes. Stanley was a huge Man U fan and he wanted to get home that evening and see the match.

Von Disco: That seems at odds with his perfectionist reputation.

Monolith: Don’t get me wrong, most of the time he was a hard-taskmaster, but when it came to his football, Stanley would occasionally let things slide. You don’t want to believe everything you read…

Von Disco: Like the rumours about you and Lindsay Lohan.

Monolith: That one is actually correct. We are totally into each other.

Von Disco: You met a Louis Vuitton Baggage Handlers Convention?

Monolith: Yep. It’s a pretty funny story actually, but it’s off the record.

Von Disco: Fine.

Monolith: Okay, okay, Phew! Andrew Denton hasn’t got anything on you. I went up to Lindsay and said, “I see you’re drinking water.” And she said, “What are you, my mother? Step off, bitch.” Just like that, like it was 1995 again. That broke the ice and we’ve been hanging out ever since.

Von Disco: If you don’t mind me saying…it’s a bit of a May-December romance isn’t it?

Monolith: I’m older than the Universe, dude.

Von Disco: So I guess even Cher would be jailbait from your point of view?

Monolith: Tasteless, much?

Von Disco: Yeah. I hear tell that there was talk after the making 2001 of spinning you off into a comedy series. This was around 1969,1970.

Monolith: More than talk, lots of planning went on. The concept was that I was a newly elected government minister and that I would constantly come up against a wily civil servant. Obviously this became Yes, Minister about a decade later. But when we were in development it was Yes, Monolith.

Von Disco: In fact you were somewhat of a fixture on British telly in the early 1970s.

Monolith: Yep, mostly comedy and light entertainment. The Two Ronnies, Benny Hill, I was even in an episode of Doctor Who back when old Jon Pertwee was getting around in the Austin Powers gear.

Von Disco: And you were on Top of the Pops with your ill-fated corrective to Abba’s song Waterloo?

Monolith: I’ve had a bit of a bad press over this one. But I’m a history buff and I get annoyed with Abba’s interpretation of the Battle of Waterloo.

Von Disco: Understandably. They didn’t do the research like Boney M did when they did their historically accurate and startling rendition of Rasputin.

Monolith: Exactly.

Von Disco: So you’re in Perth to speak out against World Hunger.

Monolith: No, I’m speaking for it.

Von Disco: That’s rather a controversial position to take isn’t it?

Monolith: Listen, if the First World gave a shit about World Hunger we’d solve it.

Von Disco: Wow, moralistic, much?

Monolith: What is hunger except for a moral issue? I decided to get on the winning side of the whole debate.

Von Disco: So you’re mounting an attack on hunger by pretending to be for it in a Swiftian culture jamming satire that takes place at a MacDonald’s in Applecross?

Monolith: Yeah.

Von Disco: Isn’t there a danger that the story might turn into “Clueless 1970s Celebrity Pro Hunger: Scoffs Down Big Macs While Third World Starves"?

Monolith: I’ve never been misquoted by the media. They’ve always been good to me. They do everything they can to get the story right.

Von Disco: Are you being sarcastic?

Monolith: I prefer the term ironic, but yes.

Von Disco: Who do you like in the IPL?

Monolith: Go Knight Riders! Woohoo!

Von Disco: Thanks for your time, Monolith.

Monolith: It’s been an absolute pleasure, Esteban. This would have to be the best interview I’ve ever had.

Von Disco: Are you being ironic?

Monolith: No, that was sarcasm.

Thanks to the Monolith for agreeing to the interview. As I've found again and again, the Big Ones are the nicest because they have nothing left to prove.

See you down at the nets!

Esteban

Existential Crisis

Hi folks,

Can you guess the secret sound? It helps if you're in existential crisis.

Cheers,

Esteban

I Make Karaoke Videos

This kind of thing, getting a midi-file and putting Creative Commons imagery to it - this chillaxes me, people.

Esteban!

A Summer of Melted Cheese

ABOVE: Melted cheese to please any palate!

When things are slow during the cricket, I like to cook up my favourite melted cheese re-cype.

MELTED CHEESE DIP
1 lb. sausage, crumble and fry, drain well 2 cans picante dip 1 lg. container (4 lbs) Velveeta cheese, cube or shred 6 sm. jalapeno peppers, sliced thin Combine all ingredients in slow cooker. Heat thoroughly, stirring occasionally, until all cheese is melted. Serve with nacho chips.

It's a freakin' corker and somehow makes 40 degrees celcius seem at least two degrees cooler or hotter either way, give or take. I found it here at cook.com and there are, needless to say, heaps more re-cypes. Aussie's may like to replace Velveeta with a block of Kraft Cheddar - or Black and Gold Cheddar or it's equivlaent. See how you go.

See you down at the 'nets.

Esteban

Judy and Dirk

Mr Dirk Wellham - courage, tenacity, legendary cool.

Miss Judy Garland - your song is not forgotten.

My twin passions have always been the careers of Aussie Cricket Icon Mr Dirk Wellham and American singer/actress Miss Judy Garland (nee Frances Gumm).

Judy brings us to the edge of tears when as a young Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz (circa 1939) she sings "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". It's a song of a plaintive longing for peace and plenty. It speaks to a Depression ravaged America and a Europe readying for a cataclysmic conflict that would in later years come to be known as WW2 (as seen in Saving Private Ryan).

Dirk Wellham scored a century in his first class and test debut. He captained New South Wales, Tasmania and Queensland. After retiring from cricket he went on to teaching and later became a school principal. After the glitz, glamour and heroism of cricket, he devoted his life to raising the next generation of Aussie cricketers and dare I say it, Aussie citizens.

Judy and Dirk never met, unfortunately, but I like to imagine the conversation if they had.

Dirk: Hello Miss Garland, I'm Dirk Wellham
Judy: Hello Dirk! Great knock against New South Wales today.
Dirk:Thank you Judy.
Judy: What's it like playing against your old team-mates?
Dirk: Well, it certainly helps with strategy!
Judy: Oh, Dirk! You are an absolute deeelight!
Dirk: Thank you Miss Garland, and may I say how much I enjoyed you in Meet Me in St Louis.
Judy: Why thank you Dirk and you must call me Judy!

Certainly one can dream. And without our dreams are we not just empty shells?

I'll see down at the nets.

Esteban Von Disco